Arcane
by BehindTheBrightness
Summary: It was the start of their story...
1. Chapter 1

**This is set five years after Johanna Beckett's murder and at the point where Kate has decided to put her mother's case away. Kate is 24 and is already working in homicide and Rick is 34, riding high on the success of Derrick Storm. For the sake of the story, Alexis is 5 years old at this point.**

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

Dropping her glass to the bar, Kate signaled to the bartender to refill her glass as she dropped her head to her hands. Five years ago, she'd come home from dinner with her father to the news her mother had stabbed and left to bleed to death, alone, in an alley. Today, she'd been the one delivering the news in exceptionally similar circumstances.

At least this time they had been able to find the murderer.

They had been able to find justice for the victim.

Justice she could never find for her mom.

Taking a deep breath, Kate pushed herself up as she felt someone slip into the seat beside her. All she wanted to do was sit at the bar and get drunk. She just wanted to forget everything. "Listen buddy, I'm not in the mood so why don't you just back-" Looking up, Kate stopped abruptly when she was met by the startling blue eyes she would recognize anywhere from Page 6. "I...sorry?"

Flashing out his trademark smile, Rick smirked as he handed over a small leather wallet. "I just wanted to return this."

"I'm sorry…thanks?" Kate mumbled, the tips of her ears turning pink from embarrassment. "It's been a long day."

"No need to apologize," Rick smiled sincerely. "But how about I buy you a drink to make up for it?"

"Shouldn't I be the one buying you a drink? After all, I'm the one who snapped..."

"Maybe, but I was more thinking spending time with a beautiful young woman would be the way to make up for before." Holding out his hand, Rick waited until Kate raised hers. "I'm Rick. Rick Castle."

"I know." Kate admitted, feeling her face flush.

"Ah, so you're a fan."

"Of the genre. It intrigues me."

Nodding his head, Rick signaled to the bartender as he drained the last of his drink. "So, you know who I am and what I do, and yet I know nothing about you. Not even your name."

"Eh, it's Kate and I work for the police department. I'm in homicide."

"Homicide?" Rick guffawed. "So let me get this straight, you deal with death and murder all day and then go home and read about it?"

"I do. I...I like getting into their minds. I like to find the reasons. Like I said, it intrigues me."

"And is it one of those reasons that has led you to the bar tonight?" Rick pushed, propping his elbow on the bar and staring at Kate intently. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was absolutely stunning.

"I guess." Sipping her drink, Kate sighed. "Yeah, it was."

"Care to elaborate?" Raising his glass, Rick continued to stare into Kate's eyes. He could see the emotions, the pain that she was holding inside. For some reason, he felt the need to ease her pain. "Because the way you snapped when I first came over, that was much more than dealing with unwanted flirting."

"Eh," Sighing, Kate brushed her fingers through her hair. "We got called in this morning to a woman murdered in an alley on 6th. It was just a case of wrong place at the wrong time. We caught the guy; he was off his head on drugs. He was asleep behind a trash can and she went over the make sure he was okay. He thought she was trying to take his stash, so he stabbed her. She had two children. Her son is eleven and her daughter is thirteen. I had to tell the, that their mom was never coming home. I had to tell them they had to grow up without their mom because she tried to do the right thing. Because she was a good person."

Nodding solemnly, Rick rested his hand on top of one of hers as she used the other to down her drink. "I'm sorry Kate, but, something tells me that isn't all of it. You may like to know the reasons, but I like to know the story. Take you, for example. Under normal circumstances, you should not be a cop. Most smart, good looking women become lawyers, not cops. And yet here you are. Why?"

"I..." Swallowing, Kate sighed. "My mom was murdered when I was nineteen."

"Kate...I'm sorry."

"It's okay; it was a long time ago now." Taking a large gulp of her drink that seem to miraculous appear in front of her, Kate laughed without humor. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this. You're a complete stranger."

"Sometimes it's just good to talk."

"Hmm, maybe. So tell me Rick Castle, why are you sitting in The Old Haunt at eleven at night on a Wednesday? Wouldn't you prefer to be out with one of your blond conquests?"

Laughing humorlessly, Rick drained the last of his drink. "My divorce was finalized today and my wife, well, ex-wife came to pick up our daughter for a trip for the next week. She's five and I've never been away from her for that long and I couldn't stand the silence of the apartment. I used to come here when I was in college to write."

"Rick...I..." Kate stuttered. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just assumed-"

"It's fine, Kate." Rick interrupted his tone serious. "I'm not blind, I've seen Page 6. I know how it looks. You see, the problem is, when you are somewhat successful-"

"Somewhat successful?" Kate snorted, before getting her giggles under control. "Sorry sorry, please continue."

"As I was saying, when you are somewhat successful it is difficult to find someone who is interested in much more than money and publicity. Throw a five year old into that and it's near impossible. You don't find many smart, beautiful and successful women at premieres and nightclub openings." Turning towards Kate, Rick brushed her hair behind her ear in a bold move. "None of these women are you."

"You've only known me half an hour."

"And yet I can already tell you are different." Looking around, Rick cupped her cheek. "You can't tell me you don't feel the connection here."

"I..."

"I'm going to kiss you now."

"I carry a gun." Kate argued lamely.

"And yet you don't scare me. You wouldn't shoot me in front of all these witnesses. It would be bad press for the NYPD."

"Maybe, but I know how to hide a body and get awa-"

Pressing his lips to Kate's, Rick effectively silenced her of all but a moan. Pulling back slightly, he rested his forehead against hers. "How about we get out of here?"

Licking her lips, Kate nodded before wordlessly collecting her belongings and following him out of the bar.

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

Throwing open the front door, Rick immediately pressed Kate up against it as his lips burnt a trail down her neck. She tasted like cherries. Cherries and red wine. Moaning into the soft skin at her neck, Rick felt his body begin to react as she rolled her hips. "Mmm, Kate." Rick gasped, his self-control weakening. "If you keep doing that, I'm not going to last very long."

"What, this?" Kate grinned wickedly, rolling her hips again as Rick tensed against her. "You seem tense."

"It's been a while." Rick admitted, feeling the tips of his ears turn pink.

"Really?" Kate questioned, pulling back sharply to look him up and down.

"Just because it's printed in Page 6, doesn't mean it's true."

"Sorry, the alcohol is making me a little loose lipped. I don't think the filter between my brain and mouth is quite functioning." Kate apologized, pressing her body against his again. "It's…umm, it's been a while for me too." A while was an understatement if she was being honest. She hadn't been with anyone in ten months. Not since Will had left for Chicago.

"Kate, if you want to stop things here, please just tell me," Rick spoke truthfully, looking down at the ground and taking a step back as he tried to control his breathing. "I don't want to take advantage of you because you've had too much to drink."

"Rick, no," Kate replied quickly. "I may have had a drink but I am nowhere near drunk. I know exactly what I am doing."

"Then what do you want? Tell me how I can help you, Kate. Tell me what to do."

"Make me forget, Rick." Stepping into his space, Kate linked her arms around his neck as she backed him into the room. "I did a lot of thinking in that bar today before I met you and I realized that I can't keep living in the past. I don't want to keep being so goddamn afraid of losing everything and I just want to be able to feel something."

"Kate, if I'm pressuring you-" Rick started, pulling back and putting some distance between them.

"You aren't, Rick," Kate interrupted, closing the gap between them once again and kissing him as she dropped her hands to her shirt to unbutton it. "Please, Rick. Make me forget.

And just like that, Rick couldn't stop himself from surging forward and closing the gap between him and Kate once more. Tugging Kate into his arms, he pressed his lips against hers. If she wanted to forget, he would make that happen. Kate reciprocated almost immediately, her arms wrapping around his neck as her body pressed fully against his. Her tongue swept into his mouth and Rick groaned, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist as he felt the heat radiating off her.

Rick pulled away and looked deep into her eyes, his voice raspy. "If you want to stop, at any point, just say the word.

Kate tugged Rick's lips back to hers with her fingers gripping the hair at the nape of his neck. Her breasts heaved against his chest as she breathed heavily as their kisses grew fervent. Kicking off her shoes, Kate used whatever leverage she could find to wrap her legs around his hips.

He groaned as he felt her pressed against him. If she kept pressing against him, this was going to be over before they had even made it to the bedroom. "Kate-"

"Please," Kate moaned against his lips, her teeth nipping a soft trail along his bottom lip before her tongue followed the same path.

And even though he'd only known her a couple hours, he was helpless to her pleas.

Rick pressed his lips against Kate's again, their tongues battling for dominance as he carried Kate to his bedroom. He blindly navigated his away across the loft, pressing Kate up to any flat surface he could find to trail kisses down her neck again. He momentarily considered forgetting the bedroom and making her comfortable on the couch before his common sense got the better of him and he remembered his mother was asleep upstairs.

Rick kicked his bedroom door open and placed Kate at the foot of his head. Hovering over her, he forced her body down until she was reclining on the bed, his body trapping her between him and the bed. She gasped every time his hips pressed against her and Rick pulled back to look her in the eye. Her green eyes searched his and a smile spread across his face as she pulled him down for a kiss.

"Hi," Kate sighred, a soft smile finding her face as she ran her fingers through the baby hair at the back of his head. She was getting naked with Richard Castle. She had had fantasies about this. She'd spent countless nights, tucked in bed reading his books, only to have him haunt her dreams.

"Hi," Rick replied as a boyish smile spread across his face, his hand stroking across her face as his thumb pressed against the apple of her cheek, his smile growing when she leaned into his touch. "Are you sure about this, Kate? It's not too late."

"Yes," Kate responded immediately, hooking her leg around his hip. "I want this."

Rick's face softened, a smile finding his lips. Kate looked stunning, the light from the city below highlighting her every feature as it streamed through the open curtains. Rick was completely overwhelmed by how beautiful she was and how he had been able to convince her to come home with him. He was certain he was going to wake up any moment alone again. He hadn't even planned on going to the bar that night and only ended up needing a drink after his ex-wife has collected Alexis. He never thought he would have found someone he connected so well with thanks to Meredith.

Moving slowly, Rick unbuttoned the rest of Kate's shirt, brushing the material aside to press a trail of feverish kisses down her neck and breasts. Cupping her breasts in his hands, he groaned as he felt the perfect weight in his hands. Like she was made for him. Pressing his hand against her hip, her gestured for her to move to the top of the bed as he settled beside her, his body pressed flush against hers. His fingers trailing absentminded patterns along her bare stomach. Kate stared at him as he moved to unbutton his shirt until she couldn't stand it any longer and batted his hands away to remove the shirt herself, settling her hand against his shoulder blade as she forced him to move until he was hovering above her.

Brushing his thumb against her cheek, Rick bent down and kissed her again, swallowing her groan as he thrust his hips against hers. Her nails dug into his back, no doubt leaving a mark. His hips thrust against her again as he felt the heat of her body. Kate pulled away from him as she moaned into the quiet room. "Jesus Christ!"

"Most people just call me 'Rick'," Rick replied, his beard scratched at Kate's skin as he kissed the tops of her breasts, sucking gently until a mark formed just above her collarbone.

"Oh my God," Kate groaned when Rick's hips pressed harder against her core, her eyes sliding shut as the pleasure radiated through her body.

Rick couldn't hold back the grin that spread on his face as he raised his head to look at Kate. She was biting down on her bottom lip, her teeth leaving indents from the pressure. In the short time he'd know her, it was clear to him she like to be control of everything, but now, seeing her overwhelmed with pleasure made him grow even harder. Unable to form coherent sentences and falling apart below him – a completely different woman from the straight laced detective he's met in the bar hours earlier.

"Are you ready?" Rick asked again.

Kate nodded, her eyes hazy as she smiled up at him, everything was fuzzy as the pleasure worked its way all the way up from her toes and into every fiber of her being. "Yes."

Standing from the bed, Rick struggled with the button and zipper on his jeans, fumbling for long moments until he finally tugged his pants down. Standing to the side of the bed, Rick watched as Kate tugged her down jeans down, leaving her laying in just black lace – a stark contrast to the bright white sheets. His mouth went dry as his eyes raked down her body, where she lay propped on her elbows, before huskily asking. "You coming?"

Nodding, Rick licked his lips before crawling back onto the bed, kissing a path up her leg, paying special attention to every mark that marred her smooth skin as Kate settled back against the pillows. Nipping at the delicate skin of her inner thigh, he reached up the grip the sides of her underwear before looking up at Kate, their eyes meeting before he slowly tugged the black lace down. Crawling up Kate's body, he pressed kisses to any exposed skin before reaching behind her to fumble with the clasp of her bra.

"You need a hand there?" Kate laughed, arching her back as he continued to fumble with the clasp.

"I got it." Rick forced out, finally unbuckling her bra and freeing her breasts. Without missing a beat, Rick ducked his head down and sucked a nipple into his mouth, his teeth brushing against her sensitive skin, causing Kate to moan loudly as her hand weaved into the short hair at the base of Rick's neck. "God, you're beautiful.

Blushing, Kate reached down and pushed his boxers over his hips before taking him into his hand. "You're not too bad yourself," Kate sighed as she continued to stroke his length.

"Eh, you might want to stop." Rick ground out, his voice tight as he gripped the sheets. "It really has been a while."

Nodding, Kate pulled him down for a kiss as they moaned together. "Please?"

Moving to hover over her once against, his cock nudged against her wet core as Kate wrapped her arms around his back, pulling him closer as she locked her ankles together, cradling him in her body. Letting his eyes find Kate's once more, he stared into her eyes as he slowly pressed his hips forward and they became one. Rick swallowed Kate's moan as he started to move slowly. Dragging his lips to her throat, Rick cursed into her neck, his hips moving faster as Kate met his every thrust.

Reaching between them, Rick found Kate's clit as he pressed gently, smiling against her skin as her thrusts became more uncoordinated and her words were turned into moans.

"Oh fuck," Kate moaned, throwing her head back against the pillow as she writhed beneath him. "So close."

Grazing his teeth down the sensitive skin of her breasts, Rick bit down on her nipple as he felt her walls tighten around him, his hips continued to move as Kate cried out. He could feel his own climax approaching as he felt Kate bite down against his shoulder, no doubt leaving another mark.

"Let go, Rick, let go." Kate whispered, her voice breathy off her recent orgasm.

Rick bent down at kissed Kate, sucking her bottom lip between his teeth as his climax hit. He groaned against her as his hips stuttered thrusting once or twice more before dropping heavily against Kate, he felt her run her hand up and down her back as he regained enough consciousness to take some of his weight off her so not to crush her. Rolling onto the side of the bed, Rick pulled Kate with him and settled her into the side of his body. "That was-"

"Yeah," Kate confirmed, her eyes fluttering shut as she fought off sleep.

"Close your eyes," Rick whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"I should-" Kate argued, her eyes already drifting shut,

"Just for a while. Sleep."

"Mmmhmm," Kate agreed, as her breathing evened out.

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

Lifting her bra and shirt from the hastily discarded pile of clothes on the floor, Kate stood carefully from the bed so not to wake the sleep occupant, before making her way to the bathroom. Dressing silently, she exited the bathroom, crossing the bedroom she stopped in the doorway. Giving Rick one last look, she sighed. Last night had been…amazing. She hadn't felt so alive in years, but none of it was real. They were both lonely and in need of comfort. It wasn't a start of a relationship, and Kate couldn't let herself lie then in his arms whilst she lulled herself into a false sense of security. In the harsh light of day, he wouldn't want her. He was a world famous, multi-millionaire author. He wouldn't be satisfied with a New York City detective. Especially not one as beaten and broken down as her. It was easier if she just left and saved them both from the awkward morning conversation. Turning on her heels, Kate stopped abruptly when she was met with mass of red hair. "I…" Kate stuttered, before taking a steadying breath. "Good morning., I was…just leaving."

"Good morning, Martha Rogers, Richard's mother." She breezed in, holding out her hand. "Is he still sleeping?"

"Yes, it was a late night."

"I'm sure it was," Martha smiled, coyly. "Can I get you some coffee?"

"No, thank you." Hoisting her purse up on her shoulder, she retrieved her phone from where she left it on the coffee table. "I have to go."

"Are you sure you can't wait for Richard? I can wake him."

"No, no. It's fine. I have…work." Licking her lips, Kate bit the inside of her cheek. "Can you…can you tell him thank you?"

"Of course I can. What's your name, kiddo?"

"Kate. My name is Kate."


	2. Chapter 2

**Firstly, thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed or reviewed this story. It means so much. Secondly, sorry it has taken me forever to put this chapter up. I have been having a really crappy time at work and it has been really hard to concentrate, which is why it has taken me so long to write this chapter. Anyway, without any more rambling, here it is.**

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

Stumbling out of his office, Rick blearily made his away across the living room looking for Kate. Dropping down onto the couch, he sighed deeply. Last night had been perfect, and to wake up to an empty bed, well, it had been a sharp shock to the system.

"She's gone kiddo." Martha announced, looking up from the New York Times from where she sat at the kitchen counter.

"Mother?" Rick questioned, pushing himself off from the couch, he made his way into the kitchen, pouring himself a large cup of coffee in a hope to fight off the headache currently forming behind his eyes.

"Your lady friend. I found her out here like a dear caught in headlights. Poor girl looked like she'd seen a ghost." Folding the newspaper, Martha rested her hand on Rick's shoulder. "She asked me to tell you thank you."

"She…she's gone?" Rick repeated, sinking dejectedly into the kitchen stool.

"About thirty minutes ago," Martha confirmed, resting her hand on Rick's arm. "Richard? I've never seen you so morose about one of your…conquests."

"She was different. We talked. She's smart. Feisty. Did she leave a number or…anything?"

"Sorry kiddo, no number."

"Right, okay." Pushing himself up from the stool, Rick walked towards his office. He idly debated searching the internet for Kate – NYPD detective, but it wasn't like he was going to get very far with only a first name. Settling into his chair, Rick opened a new document on his laptop and started to type.

About a kick ass New York Homicide Detective.

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

Dropping into her desk chair, Kate let out a frustrated sigh. She just couldn't think straight today. Not only had she almost let a suspect blind side her in interrogation, she let another get the drop on her during the chase and had ended in a pile of broken glass and used needles in Battery Park. Three hours, four stitches and a thorough examination later, she was finally back at the Precinct with strict instructions to follow up with the doctor in a week for the results.

"Okay girl," Lanie started, dragging a chair around to the side of Kate's desk. "What's eating at you?"

"Me? Nothing. I'm just busy." Kate stuttered, looking up at Lanie wide eyed.

"Mmmhmm, so that tackle you took today was just because you're…busy. Girl, you've been distracted for weeks. What's going on?"

Looking around the busy prescient, Kate sighed. "Not here." Standing, Kate moved swiftly to the break room, motioning for Lanie to follow her. Closing the door behind them, Kate sat heavily in one of the chairs. "I…"

"You?"

Running her fingers through her hair, Kate bit her lip. "Do you remember the Benson case? It was about six week ago."

"Benson…the stabbing?"

"That's the one. I went out after, wanted to get drunk and forget the case. I met a guy and-"

"What? You met a guy? Girl, why have you been keeping him a secret?"

"Laine, stop. I haven't seen him since that night." Kate sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "We...we slept together and I crept out before he woke up the next morning."

"Kate..."

"I know, I know. I wanted to stay. He was...he was different. We had sat there and talked for hours. I talked about my mom and he talked about his divorce. Then we went back to his place."

"And what, the sex was bad?"

"No. It was...it was amazing. Like, really amazing." Kate blushed, moving to the coffee pot, Kate poured them both a up. "It was the best night I've ever had."

"Then why did you leave?" Laine asked softly, accepting the cup of coffee.

"I woke up and he had his arms wrapped around me. I...I felt like I was suffocating. It felt too real. Too good and I just had to get out of there, so I left."

"Kate..." Lanie sighed.

"I know, but, I just couldn't." Running her fingers through her hair, Kate stared at the wall. "He has a daughter, an amazing apartment, a great job. I just couldn't be that person."

"Girl," Wrapping her arm around Kate, Lanie smiled when the detective dropped her head to her shoulder. "You're smart, funny, beautiful. You gave up a career in law, one that you had worked your whole life for so that you could become a cop and get justice for people who can't get it themselves. You're an amazing person and you deserve some happiness. You can't be defined by what happened to your mom."

"I...I need to get back to work." Bustling out of the break room, Kate didn't dare a look behind her.

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

Dropping her bag onto the kitchen counter, Kate pulled the fridge open, pulling out a bottle of wine before pouring herself a large glass - she deserved it after the day she had. Pulling out her phone, she sighed. Five missed calls and two messages. Just what she needed right now. Calling voicemail, she sighed.

" _Ms Beckett, this is Doctor Beauchamp, please call me when you get this message._ " Hitting delete, Kate groaned. It was already nine at night. There was no way the doctor's office would still be open. " _Ms Beckett, it's Doctor Beauchamp again. This isn't something I usually like to discuss on a voicemail, but considering your line of work I thought it was pivotal that you were informed as early as possible. We have your blood tests back and they have shown elevated levels of human chorionic gonadotropin. You're pregnant, Ms Beckett. Please call my office as soon as possible to make an appointment._ " Staring at the phone, Kate struggled to breath as the words sunk into every fiber of her being.

Pregnant?

There was no way she could be pregnant. Taking a deep breath, Kate placed her wine glass on her coffee table.

This couldn't be happening. Could it? Grabbing her phone again, Kate dialed and waiting for her best friend to answer. "Lanie? I need you."


	3. Chapter 3

"What am I going to do, Lanie?" Her arms wrapped tightly around her body as a suit of armour. She had finally stopped shaking, but she still couldn't wrap her head around the idea that she had another human life growing within her.

"Well, forgive me for stating the obvious," Lanie started, sipping the wine Kate had discarded earlier. "I think you're going to have a baby."

"You're not helping." Kate groaned, burying her head in her hands. "How can I have a baby? I practically live at the precinct and I live off coffee and take out. How the hell am I supposed to take care of another human being? I'm not a baby person, Lanie, I never have been. I'm not even sure I ever planned to have kids. How can…how can I do this?"

"Kate," Lanie sighed, wrapping her arm around her friend. "You…you have options. You're still pretty early on in the pregnancy, if you wanted a termination, it would be a possibility. Or, adoption. There are loads of loving families that would love to have a baby and can't. If you aren't ready to do this, I know you'd find a family easily. Whatever you choose, you still have time."

"I…I don't know, Lanie." Standing abruptly, Kate paced around the space in her living room. "The only thing I had to worry about this morning was what take out to order tonight, and all it took was one phone call, one message, to change everything. I feel like I'm nineteen again, and being told my mom was dead." Biting down on her lip, Kate felt the tears pool in her eyes. "I…I want my mom, Lanie."

"Oh, Kate." Lanie breathed. Setting her wine glass down on the coffee table, she wrapped her friend in a tight embrace. "I know this has come as a surprise, but Kate, you are strong. You are the youngest female New York police officer to ever make Detective. You've made it to Homicide. You've been through more in your life already then most do if they live to eighty. I know that you can get through this."

"What do I do now?"

"Well, you start taking care of yourself. You get enough sleep. You start eating proper meals, and, you need to tell him."

"Who?" Kate questioned.

"Mr Baby Daddy. Mr One Night of Mind Blowing Sex. Him"

"No. No way. I can't do that."

"Kate…" Lanie sighed. "He has a right to know. This is his baby too."

"I can't just show up on his door step." Kate argued, running her fingers through her hair.

"Of course you can!"

"And what do I say? 'Hi, remember me? We slept together a few weeks ago. Guess what? I'm pregnant!'"

"Well, maybe not those exact words but the sentiment work. You said he already had a daughter so he obviously likes children."

"He had a child with his wife, it's a little bit different to a one-night stand."

"Kate," Lanie reasoned. "It was only a one night stand because you left without saying anything to him. He might have wanted more. You told me how amazing the night was. I only got your side of the story but he sounded different. He sounded like one of the good guys."

"It was. He is. But we still met in a bar, got drunk and had sex. It's not exactly the start of a love story."

"Maybe not, but he still deserves to know. I'm not saying you have to tell him tomorrow, but Kate, if you keep this baby you can't keep its existence from him. It's not fair on him. You know what it is like to be missing a parent, and I know the circumstances were different but, it is still a missing parent. He needs to know, Kate."

"I…I'm really tired." Kate deflected, pulling herself out of Lanie's embrace.

"Okay," Lanie smiled, picking up her bag. She'd known Kate long enough to know that there was no point pushing her when she was pulling away. "But please just think about what I said and make yourself a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. No matter what you decide to do, you need to look after yourself."

"I will." Closing the door behind her best friend, Kate slumped against the door as the nights events replayed over and over again.

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

"So how are you feeling, Katherine?" The doctor questioned, folding her hands in front of her on her desk.

"I…I honestly don't know." Kate admitted, biting down on her lip nervously. "Of all the things you could have found…I wasn't expecting this."

"I understand." The doctor smiled. "I'm assuming then that this wasn't a planned pregnancy?"

"No, not at all." Kate sighed, looking down at her lap.

"Katherine," The doctor started. "You're not the first, and you certainly won't be the last women to be caught out by an unplanned pregnancy, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I'm not asking to pass judgement; I just want to make sure that we take the proper precautions. Especially when we factor in your job as well. I know that you still have choices to make, but with all things considered, I would like to start you on pre-natal vitamins and if it is okay with you, do a quick ultrasound today and general examination. That doesn't by any means mean you have to make a decision on what you wish today, it is just better for your health that was confirm the pregnancy is healthy, to keep you healthy."

"O-okay," Kate stuttered.

"You don't have to be nervous." The doctor smiled, standing and walking over to the examination table. "If you just come and lay down over here and lift your shirt, we'll get started."

"Okay." Moving swiftly, Kate laid down on the uncomfortable examination table and lifted her shirt to under her breast.

"Okay, I'm just going to have a feel of your abdomen." The doctor warned.

"Okay," Sucking in a deep breath, Kate watched as the doctor pressed down on her abdomen. She'd been through countless physicals during her time at the Academy and NYPD, but something about this felt different.

"Everything feels normal here and just as I would expect. Now, if it's still okay with you, I'd like to do the ultrasound. If you don't feel ready to look, please don't feel like you need to."

"I…I'm ready." Squaring her shoulder on the bed, Kate took a deep breath as the doctor squeezed the gel onto her flat stomach. Turning her eyes to the doctor, she didn't blink as she watched the expression on the doctor's face. She watched as the doctor bit her lip and frowned at the screen. Was something wrong?"

"Everything is absolutely fine." The doctor announced, pulling Kate back to the present. She hadn't even realised she'd spoke the words. "The baby was just hiding. Would you like to see?"

Nodding her head, Kate turned to face the monitor. "Is that it?"

"It is," The doctor smiled, moving to point at a small flicker on the monitor. "And that is your baby's heartbeat. We can try to have a listen if you'd like."

"Yes," Kate answered immediately.

"Okay, just try not to be too concerned if we can't hear anything. You are still very early in to this pregnancy, barely seven weeks, that doesn't mean that something is wrong. I can detect a perfectly strong heartbeat over the ultrasound."

"Okay," Taking a deep, soothing breath, Kate held it until a fast thumping filled the air of the small examination room. "Is that…"

"That's your baby's heartbeat, and it is absolutely perfect." Resting her hand on Kate's arm, the doctor smiled. She could feel the tension draining out of her patient. "I'll give you a few moments."

"Could I…could I get a picture?" Kate requested, her eyes never leaving the monitor as the baby's heartbeat continued to fill the air.

"Of course you can. We even record the heartbeat and I can get that on a DVD for you. I'll get them printed and be back in a few moments."

Thanking the doctor, Kate smiled as she continued to stare at the baby – her baby – on the monitor. She didn't need to think anymore. There was no way she could do anything, but have this baby.

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

Walking through the busy streets of Manhattan, Kate held the ultrasound photo in her hot little hand. Her baby's first photograph. Cross the street, Kate walked into Central Park. Wandering around, she stopped abruptly when she heard the gentle cries of a child. Looking around, she found a young girl turning in circles five feet in front of her, tears streaming down her face. Walking closer to the little girl, she smiled. "Hi sweetheart."

Looking up, the little girls' blue eyes went wide as she continued to cry. "Hi."

"What's your name?"

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers." She sobbed, pulling her stuffed monkey tight to her chest.

"That's a good idea, but you know what?" Crouching down in front of the child, Kate pulled her badge out of her back pocket and handed it to the child. "I'm a police officer. My name is Kate. Are you lost, sweetheart? What's your name? Where's your mommy and daddy?"

"My names Alexis. Mommy lives in Cali-California. Daddy…daddy's gone!" The girl sobbed, fresh tears pouring from her eyes.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, we'll find him. When did you last see him?"

"I was on the horses, and then he was gone!"

"Okay," Kate smiled. Standing, she carefully lifted Alexis and rested her on her hip. "How about we have a look around for your daddy? If we can't find him, I'll call one of my friends and we'll get a car to take you home."

"Oka-"

"Alexis!" A sharp shout interrupted. "Alexis!"

"Daddy? Daddy!" Wiggling in Kate's arms until she set her down, Alexis sprinted towards her father. "I thought you lost me!"

"Never. Don't ever wander off like that again. Do you hear me?" Her father scaled.

"I couldn't find you." Alexis sobbed again, turning in his arms, Alexis pointed to Kate. "I found a police officer."

"You did?" Following his daughter's gaze, he felt his breath catch. "Kate?"

"Rick?"

"Kate?" Rick repeated, taking step forward.

"I…" Feeling the tears form behind her eyes, Kate took a deep breath. "I…I need to go."

"Kate wait," Stepping forward, Rick grabbed her arm, staring at her intently, he smiled softly. "I can't believe it's you. I never thought I would see you again."

"I didn't think I'd see you either."

"Why…why did you leave?" Rick asked softly, his voice free of accusation.

"I had to go to work. I was running late."

"You could have woken me. You could have left a number…I had no way to contact you, and I really wanted to see you again."

"Sorry." Kate apologized, fiddling with the bottom of her jacket as she stared at her shoes.

"Well, how about I take you out to lunch to make up for it? I don't know about you, but Alexis and I are starving. There's a great little diner called Remy's. They do the best burgers in the city."

"I don't know…"

"Please!" Alexis pleaded.

"Okay," Kate relented. "A burger sounds good. And you're right, Remy's does have the best burgers."

Holding his hand out to Kate, Rick smiled. Squaring her shoulders, Kate took his open hand in hers.

She could do this.


	4. Chapter 4

"Do you believe in fate?" Rick questioned suddenly as Kate fiddled with her fries for the tenth time that minute.

"Fate?" Kate repeated, pushing her plate away. She suddenly didn't feel like eating.

"Fate. Like, everything happens for a reason." Taking the last bite of his burger, he glanced at Kate's plate before checking Alexis was still engrossed in her book. "I mean, what are the chances that, with all the other people in this city, Alexis ran into you?"

"I…"

"It's like kismet."

"I'm not sure I believe in that." Resting a hand on her abdomen under the table, she smiled tightly. "Chance? Maybe, but fate? Like the universe is working to make sure something happens? I don't believe in that."

"I do." Glancing at Alexis, he smiled at Kate. "I didn't plan on taking her to the park today. She was asking all morning before school, but I had a chapter I had been working on, and just couldn't seem to finish, but thirty minutes before I had to pick her up it all just clicked. If that hadn't of happened, we wouldn't have been in the park and I wouldn't have been able to find you again."

Shifting uncomfortable, Kate ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm not sure that's fate."

"Well, whatever it is, I'm glad it happened. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that…night." Taking a sip of his water, he sighed. "Why did you leave, Kate?"

"I told you," Kate starts. "I was late for work."

"You could have woken me. I thought…I thought we had made a connection."

"We did…we…" Looking around the diner, Kate notice a few uniforms from her precinct lurking around. The last thing she needed was to be break room gossip. Whispering, she kept her eyes cast down. "I'm not very good at this."

"At what?" Rick pushed, his leg brushing against hers under the table.

"Being open with people. Letting them in. When my mom died, I closed myself off." Kate admitted, taking a deep breath. "I couldn't get hurt if I didn't let anyone in. But now, with everything…I need to change."

"What happened?"

"I found out I'm-" Stopping herself, Kate shock her head. She couldn't tell him. "I just want to stop hurting people by not being able to connect." Looking at her watch, she sighed. "I should probably get going. I've got the night shift tonight."

"Can I at least walk you to work? Maybe get your number, because I really would like to see you again Kate.

Biting on her lip, Kate nodded, quickly rattling off her cell phone number as he entered it to his phone. "And now I really should get going."

"Okay, come on Alexis, we're going to walk Kate to work."

"You really don't have to do that." Kate protested, slipping on her coat and grabbing her bag.

"What kind of man would I be if I didn't ensure you got to work safely?"

"You do realise I'm a cop, right? I carry a gun."

"Even so," Rick laughed, paying for their meal despite Kate's early protests. "I really did have a good time, Kate."

"Me too." Exiting the restaurant, Kate crossed the street and stopped abruptly outside the solid wood doors. "Well, thanks for walking me to work."

"This is where you work?" Rick laughed, shaking his head.

"I did tell you that you didn't need too." Kate smiled.

"At least now I'm certain you got here. A lot can happen in the ten seconds it took us to cross the street."

Nodding, Kate smiled. "Well I better go up."

"I'll call you. Maybe I could take you out for dinner, without the kindergartener audience. Get to know you better." Rick lent in and gently kissed her cheek. "It's been a pleasure. Say goodbye to Kate, Alexis."

"Bye Kate!" Alexis chirped, finally looking up from her book.

"Bye sweetheart. It was lovely to meet you." Turning on her heels, Kate opened the precinct door before thinking better of it. Turning back around, she watched as the father and daughter duo walked down the street, her eyes never leaving them until they were completely out of sight."

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

"You didn't tell him?" Lanie all but shouted, exasperated.

"I couldn't Lanie. I haven't even wrapped my head around all of this, I couldn't just waltz in there and screw up his – and his daughters' world too."

"But you are going to tell him?" Lanie pushed.

Sinking down into the chair in the corner, Kate sighed. "When the time is right."

"Kate…"

"Lanie, please don't. I need time." Dropping her hand to her abdomen, she smiled. "I need to get this all sorted in my head first."

"But leaving it is only going to make it harder on you. And him. Maybe meeting him in the park was fa-"

"Don't say fate." Kate interrupted, holding up a hand to stop Lanie in her tracks. "I had enough about fate at lunch from Rick."

"Oooh, so his name is Rick." Smiling gleefully, she lent forward. "Tell me more. What does he look like? What does he do? What's his last name? I'm sure I could convince Javi to do a background check on him."

"Don't you dare!" Kate gasped, horrified.

"Girl, as if I'd actually do that. I do want more details though."

"His name is Rick, Rick Castle and he's a writer."

"Rick Castle..." Lanie drawled out before her eyes went wide. "You mean _the_ Rick Castle? Your favourite author?"

"The one and only."

"Oh my god!" Lanie squealed, standing and starting to pace around the morgue. "I can't believe you and him…girl, that kid is going to be gorgeous. You two have good genetics."

"Thanks?"

"It's a compliment Kate, take it. Now come on, what's he like?"

"He's…he's kind and caring. He's not how he seems in the newspapers, at least from what I've seen, and he is great with Alexis. She is his world."

"Is that part of why you didn't tell him?"

"Maybe. I just…you can see how much he loves her. His entire world revolves around her and what if he doesn't want to share that world with another child?"

"What if he does?" Moving over to Kate, Lanie rested a hand on her arm. "You'll never know if you don't ask him."

"Just give me some time, Lanie."

"Whatever you need"

Dropping her bag onto the coffee table, Kate flopped down into the armchair, groaning as she kicked off her heels. Today had been long. First her doctor's appointment, then running in to Rick and having a case land on her desk at seven last night - all she wanted to do was crawl into bed. Pushing herself out of the chair, Kate grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge before slowly making her way to her bedroom.

Taking the ultrasound photograph of out her pocket, Kate stared at it intently before laying her hand on her abdomen. "Hi baby," Kate breathed out, rubbing circles on her skin with her thumb as though the baby would be able to feel it. "I'm not sure how good I'm going to be at this, but I'm going to try my best, okay?"

Laying back, Kate quickly drifted to sleep, her hand still protectively resting on her abdomen.


	5. Chapter 5

Bear with me on this. We're getting there...

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

Grabbing her phone from her desk, Kate smiled when she saw Rick's face on screen. She hadn't been feeling too great the last few days - morning sickness was in full force all day and on top of that she could feel the beginnings of a headache forming behind her eyes. Answering, the call, Kate walked quickly towards the break room, away from the prying ears of her team mates. "Hey."

"Hey, how do you feel about Italian?" Rick asked immediately, she could hear the cluttering of pans in the background.

"Italians?" Kate questioned, frowning.

"Italian. As in the food."

Holding her stomach, Kate did her best to swallow the sick feeling that just the mention of food seemed to cause. "Uh...I like Italian, normally."

"Brilliant. Come round when you finish work?"

"Excuse me?" Kate stuttered. In the six weeks since Kate had stumbled upon Alexis in Central Park, she and Rick had met for coffee or the occasional lunch, but they had always stuck to a neutral location – she hadn't been back to the loft since the night they first met.

"Rick, I..."

"Don't say no. I promise it will be completely PG. Alexis will even be here. Don't make me tell her you can't come. She still hasn't forgiven me that she couldn't come to lunch last week. I'm telling you, that child can really hold a grudge. How about if I promise to keep my hands to myself?"

"Rick, it's been a really long day, and I don't feel great so-"

"Even better, if you're tired and under the weather a home cooked meal is just what you need." Rick argued. "Nothing like a warm bowl of pasta to make you feel better."

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"

"Brilliant detecting, Detective."

Smiling into her phone despite herself, Kate sighed, "Fine, but don't go to too much trouble. I mean it Rick. I haven't got much of an appetite."

"I promise, simple but nutritious. Scouts honor."

"You were a Scout?" Kate scoffed.

"Well…no…but…okay, so I'm just digging myself a bigger grave so I'm going to stop there and say, see you tonight."

"See you tonight."

Dropping her phone back onto her desk, Kate groaned as she slipped back into her chair, massaging her temples. It was getting hard and hard to avoid Rick and his questions. With each phone call he was becoming more and more insistent that she spent time with him and his daughter. He'd even dropped by the precinct on more than one occasion to bring her lunch, He was slowly making himself comfortable in her life, and she wasn't completely sure how she felt about that.

"That Writer Boy?" Esposito question, looking over his computer screen at Kate.

"Excuse me?" Kate stuttered, her eyes wide as she felt the blush rise in her cheeks.

"Oh please. The mysterious lunch deliveries, the far away smile. It's not hard to work out that you're-" Stopping when he received Kate's icy stare, Esposito gulped. "That you're happy."

"Lanie?" Kate questioned.

"You wound me, Beckett. I'm a detective. It's not hard to work out."

"Well, for what it's worth," Kate started, standing from her desk she subconsciously pulled her shirt down. She wasn't showing yet, but she suddenly felt extremely exposed. " _Rick_ and I are just friends."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Seriously, Espo. We're just friends."

"Beckett," Esposito started, walking from his desk until he was perched on the edge of hers. "This is the happiest I've seen you since we started working together."

"And your point is?" Kate could feel herself getting irritated. Could she blame the pregnancy hormones?

"Just don't look for problems that aren't there. You deserve to be happy, girl."

"Thanks Espo." Shoving the file she was working away from her, she grabbed her bag. "I'm going to call it a night. Don't stay too late."

"Never, Boss."

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

Taking a deep steadying breath, Kate steeled herself. Smiling softly, she could heard the thud of Alexis' feet against the hardwood, and her gentle call of 'It's Kate!'. You couldn't not smile when you thought about that little girl. If her baby turned out half as well as it's big sister…no, she couldn't let herself think about the tiny life growing within her. Watching as the door swung open, she smiled wider when Alexis flew into her arms.

"Kate! You came!" Alexis squealed, wrapping her arms around Kate's legs.

"Oompf. Of course I came, sweetheart." Smoothing her hand through Alexis' hair, she felt herself begin to relax. "I you're your daddy I would."

"I know, but daddy said not to get my hopes up." Alexis explained, taking Kate's hand and leading her into the loft. "Because you work long hours catching all the bad guys so that it's safe. He said you work soooo hard you forget to eat. But you have to eat, Kate so you grow big and strong!"

"Did he now." Kate smiled.

"Uh huh, he said-"

"Alexis Castle," Rick's voice interrupted before Alexis could elaborate. "What have I told you about opening the…Kate. Hi. I didn't expect you until later."

"Paperwork was tedious and giving me a migraine. I thought it was best I left before I turned my gun on my reports. Internal Affairs tend to frown at that."

"That sounds wise, wine?" Rick offered, motioning for Kate to take a seat on one of the kitchen stools. "I have red or white?"

Shaking her head, Kate slipped into the seat, rolling her neck trying to release some of the pressure between her shoulders. "Water?"

Grabbing a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, he handed it to Kate before resting his hand on her cheek. "Would you prefer to lie down on the couch? You look pale."

"I'm okay, just haven't been feeling great."

"I thought you were just making an excuse not to come." Rick apologized. "There's been something going around Alexis' school. She dragged herself in last week even though she should have been at home. Maybe you've picked it up. We really won't take offence if you want to flop on the couch. We need New York's best crime fighter at the top of her game."

Resting her hand on his, she smiled. "Rick, I haven't picked up a bug, We actually need to talk." Taking a deep breath, she smiled. "I didn't mean to tell you like this but Rick, I'm pr-"

"Daddy!" Alexis interrupted, sliding into the room, narrowly missing to corner of the kitchen counter before Kate caught her by the elbow. "Can I show Kate my new scooter? Can I?"

"Kate's not feeling very well, Pumpkin and dinner will be ready in five minutes. How about you show her after and you set the table for me instead?"

"Okay," Alexis sighed dejectedly.

"She's such a character." Kate mused, sipping her water. She could smell food and her stomach was doing somersaults.

"She is. Anyway, she interrupted you. What were you saying?"

"I'm…" Looking at Alexis setting the table she sighed and shook her head. "Not now."

"Are you sure? You still look pale, Kate."

"I'm sure."

Reclining back against Rick's couch, Kate could feel her eyes drifting closed as he voice floated down from Alexis' bedroom, where he was currently finishing tucking her in. He really was an amazing father.

"She'll be out like a light any minute now." Rick murmured as he rounded the couch, slipping down into the seat next to her. "Much like you."

"Mmm." Kate confirmed. Pushing herself up, Kate sighed. "I should probably get going."

"Stay," Rick requested, grabbing Kate's arm and pulling her gently until she was rested in his lap. Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead to hers before kissing her. Letting his fingers dip under her shirt, he gently massaged her skin where it met the waistband of her pants. "I promise, just to sleep. We don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with."

Sighing into his kiss, Kate let herself get lost for a moment before righting herself and pulling away. "I can't."

"Kate, you're obviously not feeling yourself. I wouldn't be a good man if I let you go into the night like this."

"I'm a cop, Rick. I can take care of myself."

"I don't care, just stay." Running his fingers through her hair, he massaged her head as she slowly turned to mush in his arms.

"It's complicated."

"Well, uncomplicate it." Rick argued. "Are you in a relationship?"

"What?" Kate scoffed. "No."

"Then what is it?" Pushing herself off of his lap, Kate paced in front of his coffee table, biting her lip. She'd been so close to telling him earlier, but now, with his blue eyes staring at her, she felt like she was fifteen and being caught by her dad coming in past her curfew. "Kate? Is this to do with what you started to tell me earlier? What is it Kate?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Okay fine, and I have a kid. I don't care, Kate. We never agreed to be exclusive. We can still make this work between us."

"No, Rick." Sitting down on the coffee table, Kate took his hands into hers. "I'm twelve weeks pregnant."

"Twelve weeks….you're twelve weeks pregnant?" Rick repeated, his voice low. "You mean…it's…"

"It's your baby, Rick. I'm pregnant with your baby." Kate confirmed.

Dropping her hands like they were on fire, Rick stared at Kate. "How long have you known? Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I'm telling you now."

"No," Rick started, his voice still low. "If Alexis hadn't ran into you in the park, were you ever going to tell me?"

"Of course I would."

"When? When the baby was born? Turned eighteen? Graduated college? When Kate? Because you've obviously known for a few weeks and you haven't told me yet. You've had plenty of time. Plenty of chances when we've been alone. All this time-"

"I don't know!" Kate shouted before her hand flew to her mouth. "I don't know. My head has been all over the place. This is all new to me."

"I don't think you planned to tell me." Rick countered his voice unusually angry. "I think you would have let me live my life not knowing I had another child. Why would you bother to tell me after you snuck out in the early hours of the morning? Or maybe you were never planning on keeping the baby. After all, why would you want to be reminded of that night? Of me? I never thought you would be the kind of person to be so selfish."

"I'm sorry, Rick. I never meant to hurt you." Kate whispered her voice breaking.

"No, you don't get to be sorry. You don't get to play the victim. I would have understood that you didn't tell me that day in Central Park. I would have understood if you had wanted to get to know me first, but six weeks? Six weeks, Kate!" Standing, Rick paced between the living room and kitchen. "Maybe I should be worried about my baby being with someone who is willing to deny their existence."

"I've made a mistake."

"Too right you have Kate." Rick seethed. "You should have told me sooner."

"No, I've made a mistake with everything. I should have just kept my distance. I should never have agreed to go to lunch with you that day, but I thought you were different. I thought you understood me." Standing, Kate grabbed her bag. "I thought you would understand why I needed to get my head around this first. I have an appointment, tomorrow at ten at New York Presbyterian. You're welcome to come, but I won't force you. I can do this on my own. I won't force you to me a part of this baby's life."

"Kate-"

"No, Rick." Kate interrupted. "I know I did the wrong thing keeping this from you, but this is who I am. I needed to know my own mind before inviting you in to the equation. If you want to be part of this baby's life, you're more than welcome, but I won't force you and I won't beg. I can and will do this on my own if I have too." Walking to the front door, Kate pulled it open before turning to look at him. "For what it's worth, I really am sorry Rick."


	6. Chapter 6

"What's going on, Richard?" Martha questioned, settling down in a stool next to the breakfast bar whilst he cooked. "You've been on a high for the last few weeks and now you just seem…deflated."

"It's complicated, mother." Rick forced out, doing his best to avoid eye contact with his mother. He really couldn't deal with her questioning right now. All he wanted to do was hide in his office and pretend that last night hadn't turned out the way it had.

"Would it happen to have anything to do with a certain brunette woman Alexis has not stopped talking about for the last few weeks?"

"Mother…"

"Well? Is it her? The one you've been pining over for weeks? The one who ran out of here like a bat out of hell?"

"Yes it was her – Kate."

"And you two are…" Martha pushed.

"I'm not quite sure what we are, mother. It's complicated."

"Is she married? I don't see how such an early relationship can be complicated unless she's-" Stopping abruptly, Martha looked Rick up and down. "Richard! You got her pregnant?"

"Shush!" Rick hissed, moving from the pan to check if he could hear the patter of Alexis' feet yet. He really did not want to have that conversation with her right now. "I haven't told Alexis yet and it's not like I did it intentionally! We were both willing participants."

"She's practically a baby herself." Martha scolded. "What is she? Twenty-five?"

"She's twenty-four."

"Oh, Richard you should have known better than to be so careless." Martha exclaimed. "The poor girl must be terrified"

"She's fine, she is doing fine. So fine that she didn't even think to tell me she was pregnant. She is twelve weeks pregnant and she only told me last night because she didn't have a choice, because she was backed into a corner."

"Richard…"

"No, mother. She's strong, she's smart but she is as stubborn as hell and I don't even know if she wants this baby, and if she does want this baby I'm not certain how much she is going to let me be involved."

"Did you ask her?"

"Well, not really." Rick cringed. "I may have snapped at her."

"Richard!"

"Mother, she didn't tell me. I don't care how scared she may be but I'm deserved to know."

"Richard, I'm not going to deny that it is your right to know and that she may have done the wrong thing, but I've been there. I've been a single mother. No matter how strong she may be on the outside, she'll also be terrified, especially at her age. She is going to feel like she is completely alone."

"She's not…she won't be…" Rick stuttered. "She's not a single parent. I'm going to be in the baby's life."

Resting her hand on her sons arm, Martha smiled softly. "She's still going to be the one doing the late night feeds and the early mornings. She's going to be the one trying to juggle a full time career whilst caring for a baby. For all intents and purpose, she's a single parent. You aren't going to be there twenty four hours a day."

"I'm going to be there. I could ask her to move in. I'm going to be a part of this baby's life."

"I know you will, kiddo, but does she? Just don't push her too hard or fast, okay? There is only so much you can push before someone breaks. How did you leave it?"

"We argued. She stormed out. She told me she has an appointment today and I can come if I want. She said if I didn't, she would assume I didn't want to be involved."

"So, what are you going to do, kiddo?"

"Part of me doesn't want to go. I want to call her bluff and stay away from her for a few days."

"But?" Martha pushed.

"But, what if she does take it that I don't want to be there? To be in the baby's life. She's been through a lot in the past few years and she doesn't trust easily." Rick explained, rubbing his hand down his face. "But then at the same time, I want to be there. It's my baby too and I want to see it. I want to experience everything, just like I did with Alexis."

"Looks like you've got some decisions to make, kiddo."

"Yeah, I think I do."

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

"Daddy?" Alexis questioned, her plate of eggs balanced precariously close to the edge of the breakfast bar.

"Yes, Pumpkin?"

"Why were you and Kate shouting at each other last night?"

"We weren't…you…you heard that?" Rick stuttered, letting the newspaper he was reading drop back to the counter with a soft thud.

"Uh huh." Alexis confirmed, pushing her plate away. "It's not very nice to shout, dad. You should use your words nicely."

"I know, Pumpkin, but grown up things are complicated sometimes though and it's hard to use your words." Rick explained dropping a kiss to Alexis' head.

"You should apologize to Kate, daddy. Bring her ice cream. I'd forgive you for _anything_ if you brought me ice cream."

"I will." Making a quick decision, he grabbed his wallet and phone off the counter, just as Alexis took the last bite of her breakfast "Come on, grab your bag or we're going to be late."

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

"Okay, Kate. This may be cold." The doctor smile softly, squeezing the gel on to Kate still flat abdomen as a knock sounded on the door opening seconds later to reveal an awkward looking receptionist.

"Uh…I've got a Mr Castle here. He said he's here for Ms Beckett?"

"He's okay," Kate confirmed, offering Rick a shy smile as he walked in and dropped a kiss and a muffled 'I'm sorry' against her head before taking her hand. "I'm glad you came."

"Me too." Holding his hand out to the doctor, Rick smile. "Rick Castle. Father. Of the baby, I mean, the father of the baby, not Kate's obviously because-"

"Hello Mr Castle." The doctor smiled. "Father of the baby, not Kate."

"Yeah," Rick breathed his voice light as he felt the tears start to form in his eyes. He was dad. He was going to be a dad again and he was going to get to do it with the dark hair woman who had stolen his heart the night she poured hers out to him. "I'm the father."

"In that case, how about we take a look and see how Baby is doing?" Pressing the probe onto Kate abdomen, the doctor smiled as the screen sprung to life. "Mom, dad, here's your baby."

"Wow," Rick breathed, reaching for Kate's hand even as his eyes never left the screen.

"Is everything okay?" Kate question, her voice anxious.

"Everything looks great. Baby has grown nicely since your last appointment. If you look here you can make out its arms and legs. You have a perfectly healthy baby."

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

"I guess we should talk." Kate whispered, her copy of the ultrasound held tightly in her hand whilst Rick slipped his into his wallet.

"We should but not here though." Taking her hand, he led Kate a couple of blocks until he stopped at the entrance for a children's park. Releasing her hand, he sat down on one of the swings, motioning for her to do the same. "I bring Alexis here nearly every week. She loves it here and everything always seems so simple when you're on a swing. Like you could lift your feet off the ground and fly." Turning to face Kate, he smiled softly at her. "I'm sorry for how I reacted last night. I had no right to talk to you like that and I definitely should never have raised my voice at you. That's not the type of person I am Kate."

"Rick, I-"

"No," Rick interrupted, slipping the ultrasound out of his wallet, he sighed as he stared at it. "I saw red, Kate. When you said you were pregnant. I saw red. My ex-wife, Meredith, she was never fully invested in Alexis. She loves her now, of course, but when she found out she was pregnant, she considered an abortion." Wiping the tears from his eyes, Rick stared at the ultrasound. "She told me that she didn't think we were ready for a baby, but I wasn't stupid. She was an up and coming actress and I had just had my first Derrick Storm book reach number one on the New York Bestsellers list. I know she was only concerned about losing her status on the social scene or maybe even her figure, but all I could think about was this new life we'd created." Taking a deep breath, he sighed. "That was why I was so concerned that night we met in the bar. She didn't once contest custody. She didn't fight, and yet I was sending my baby girl half way across the country with her."

"I'm sorry," Kate whispered, starting down at the ground.

"It's not your fault, but, it just brought everything back to the surface." Reaching over, Rick grasped Kate's hand in his, pressing a kiss to her palm. "Then to find out you were pregnant, twelve weeks pregnant and you hadn't told me…it hurt Kate. Why didn't you tell me, Kate? Did you really think that little of me?"

"I'm sorry, Rick. I never intentionally meant to keep it from you. That day, in Central Park when I found Alexis, I'd just had my first appointment. I'd only found out the night before." Bending down, Kate pulled her first ultrasound out of her purse and handed it to Rick. "I'd been in a funk ever since our…night. My mind was all over the place and I ended up going down hard when I was chasing a suspect. I ended up in a pile of glass and used needles-"

"What?" Rick interrupted, his eyes flying to hers.

"I'm okay. The baby is okay." Kate soothed. "My captain made me go and get checked out at the hospital, no matter how many times I said I was fine. Of all the possible things they could have told me…I never, in my wildest dreams expected them to tell me I was pregnant. The doctor had had to leave me a voicemail because I hadn't been able to answer my phone. I don't think I managed to get any sleep that night and I phoned in the morning and got an appointment to see them." Running her fingers through her hair, Kate bit her lip. "I wasn't even sure what I was going to do at that point. I'd never really imagined myself as a baby person, but then I saw the baby on the screen…I heard its heartbeat and I knew I wouldn't be able to _not_ keep it." Smiling softly, Kate stood from the swing, moving so she was stood in front of Rick. "I needed to get my head around it. I wanted to tell you. You have no idea how many times I went to tell you but something always seemed to get in the way. It was honestly never my intention to keep this baby from you. You have to believe that I wanted to tell you, but Rick, we had one night together and I just didn't know how I was going to tell you. You're a rich and famous writer and I'm a New York City cop. We're used to two very different lifestyles and I thought you would think I was after your money. I didn't want you to think that I had done this on purpose. I guess, I didn't want you to turn around and say there was no way this could be your baby so it was just easier to keep it to myself."

"No, Kate no." Standing, Rick gently cupped Kate's cheek, using his hand to move her head so he was staring into her eyes. "I would never think that, Kate. I know we haven't known each other that long in the grand scheme of things, but I would never think that of you and I would definitely never deny this baby was mine"

"People will think it though, you're famous, Rick. I won't force you to be involved though, Rick. You can pick your terms. How much you want to be around, and if you don't, if you think this is all too much for you and Alexis, I won't think any less of you and I don't want your money. I've never wanted your money."

"Kate, shh…I know you don't." Rick hushed, pulling Kate into his arms and in a moment of bravery he let his hand slip between them until it rested low on her abdomen. "I'm here for this, Kate, if you'll let me be. And I mean all in and whether you like it or not, that includes money. That baby is half mine so it's only fair that I pay for at least that much"

"What about Alexis?"

"Alexis will be over the moon. She's always wanted a baby brother or sister." Sighing, he pulled away slightly. "She heard us last night. She didn't hear what we said but she heard us shouting. She told me to apologize and to bring you ice cream. But she will be okay with this."

"Are you sure?" Kate questioned. "This is a lot to take in for me, I can't imagine how confusing it would be for a five year old."

"I'm sure, now come on, how about I take you out for lunch? You look like you could use a good meal."

"Rick…" Dropping her hand to her stomach, Kate took a deep breath and did her best to fight the nausea. "Please don't mention food. I really don't think I could eat anything.

"Don't 'Rick' me, you barely touched your food last night and you've got to eat, you've got the Peanut to think about." He smirked, looking Kate up and down. "You forget that I've felt every inch of your body. You definitely lost weight and you need fattening up."

"Peanut?" Kate laughed, she could tell Rick was trying. She had to try too.

"Peanut, Alexis was Pumpkin from the moment I found out about her, only far this one gets a nickname too. Now come on, I know a café not far from here. Surely we can find something the baby will agree with."

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"

"You catch on quick." Linking his arm through Kate's he smiled. "Come on. It's not far."

"We still have a lot to talk about, Rick. Logistics and how this is going to work between us." Kate worried as she let him guide her out of the park and down the street. "I'm barely getting my head around the baby, I'm not sure how ready I am for anything else."

"I'm not asking for anything else, Kate." Rick smiled. "We're two people having a baby together and that can be enough for now. Whatever comes, comes."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, now come on, food."


	7. Chapter 7

Pushing her empty plate away, Kate smiled contentedly. She hated to admit it, but Rick was right. By the time they had reached the café she'd been absolutely starving and instead of the smell of food setting off a full blown attack of morning sickness, she'd actually found something she'd wanted to eat. Glancing up, she found Rick's eyes on her. "You know, staring is creepy."

"I'm merely admiring the view." Rick charmed, taking a mouthful of his coffee as Kate wrinkled her nose. "Sorry."

"No, no. It's fine. It's just coffee has been the hardest. I can deal without wine, but trying to work a case without caffeine has been a bitch. I mean, I'm a cop. Cops and coffee go hand in hand."

"I can stop…if you want." Rick offered, pushing his cup away. "I can give up coffee with you."

"You don't have too. There's no point both of us being miserable, Rick." Kate laughed, pushing his cup back. "Drink your coffee."

Smiling, Rick reached across the table, taking Kate's hands into his. He squeezed gently, causing her to smile softly at him. "Maybe we should talk about how this is going to work."

"How what is going to work?"

"The baby, your job, living arrangements." Rick elaborated, looking at Kate intently. "We're going to have some choices to make."

"My job? Living arrangements?" Kate echoed, warily. "What do we need to discuss about them?"

"Your jobs not exactly the…safest Kate. Maybe you should take a step back. Take some time off. Maybe relax a little. It would probably be best for the baby if you weren't chasing criminals for the next few months."

"Excuse me? I know my job isn't the safest, but I am not going to put my baby in any unnecessary danger. When the time comes that it's not safe for me to be out in the field, I'll stick to desk duty. But not all of us are millionaires Rick. Some of us have to work to keep a roof over our heads, especially with medical bills and everything that I'm going to need to buy for the baby over the next few months."

"Well, now that you say that, it actually brings me to living arrangements." Biting his lip, he took a deep breath. "The loft has plenty of room for you and the baby. You could have your own room. It's not like we'd be cramped or-"

"Wait, wait." Kate interrupted, holding her hand up to stop him. "You want me to move in with you?"

"It's logical, Kate."

"I think logic went out the window five minutes ago." Kate scoffed. Shaking her head, she took a long sip of her milkshake to get her emotions under control.

"Just think about it, Kate. You could relax, actually enjoy being pregnant, instead of running around chasing criminals all day. I could take care of you. Money isn't an object either, we could work something out."

"That's sweet, really sweet and you're sweet, but Rick I can't give up being who I am just because I'm pregnant, and that includes staying at my apartment and my job. I'm a cop and I like having my own space. It's who I am. I'm not the first detective to get pregnant and I won't be the last. The world doesn't just stop."

"It would still be easier if we all lived under the same roof." Rick argued. "Maybe I could-"

"Don't you dare offer to buy me a place in your building."

"It would have been a solution." Rick grumbled, pouting like a five year old.

"Rick," Kate sighed, running her hand down his arm. "Just give me some time, but I won't keep you away from this baby. No matter what might happen, you will always be as involved in its life as you want. It's not going to be determined by where the baby and I live. My dad is a lawyer. If you want we can ask him to draw up a custody agreement…" After I've told him I'm pregnant, Kate added mentally. She wasn't looking forward to that conversation.

"No, we don't need that. It's just I've been there for every moment of Alexis' life. I was there for her first laugh, he first word, her first step...I just don't want to miss out on anything."

"You won't. I promise."

"Okay," Rick relented, dejectedly. "At least let me pay your medical bills. It's only fair."

"Rick I can't let you do that."

"Hey, that baby is half mine. It's the least I can do. I'm at least half responsible for those bills. Besides, even if you say no, I'll still find a way of doing it so it is easier just to agree."

"Fine, but that's it."

"Promise. Scouts honor."

"I thought you said you were never a Scout."

Smirking, Rick took another drink of his coffee. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see, but I should warn you, I am anything but persistent"

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

"I told him." Kate blurted out as soon as she and Lanie were alone in the morgue.

"You told him?" Lanie repeated, staring open mouthed at her friend.

"Well, I more let it tumble out, but he knows."

"And? How did he take it?" Dropping the scalpel, Lanie moved over to where her friend was propped against the desk.

"It was…tense, at first. We may have shouted at each other and I may have walked out."

"Katherine Beckett!" Lanie scalded.

"I said at first." Kate surrendered, holding her hands up. "He came to my appointment this morning and we started to talk things through after."

"And?" Lanie pushed.

"He started talking about me taking some time away from the NYPD and moving in with him." Watching her friends eyes light up in glee, Kate groaned. "I said no, Lanie."

"What?" Lanie scoffed. "You've got a hot, rich man who is willing to spoil you and wait on you hand and foot and you said no?"

"It's a big commitment, Lanie. I've only known him a few weeks, and besides, things are still…strained. He's trying and so I am but there is still tension there. Plus, I don't even know if I want to commit myself to a relationship like that with him. That's big."

"You're having a baby with him, girl. I think that's a bigger commitment than living at his place."

"But it's not. I've only known him a few weeks Lanie, and yes, we're having a baby together but it's not like it was something we planned. If I move in to his place, we're going to become close. If that happens and this all blows up in our faces, everyone is going to get hurt. If we stay as friends, then no matter what happens we can make sure this baby is put first. We can work out some sort of arrangement where he gets to see the baby when he wants without it being messy."

"Kate, you can't always think that relationships are going to fail. I know what happened to your mom hurt, but this is a second chance for you. A chance for you to be happy."

"I am happy, Lanie." Kate smiled. "I am."

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

"So, how'd it go kiddo?"

"What?" Rick questioned.

"Kate's appointment."

"How did you know…"

"I'm not stupid, Richard." Martha laughed. "You've had this ridiculous smile on your face since you got home."

"It was good." Opening his wallet, he took the ultrasound picture out before sliding it across the table to his mother. "Meet your new grandchild."

"Oh, Richard!" Martha gasped. "It's…"

"Perfect?" Rick supplied. "You don't have to tell me."

"And how did it go with Kate?"

"A little less perfect but okay." Rick sighed. "I asked her to move in and she said no."

"Can you blame the poor girl, Richard? Martha sighed, exasperated. "That poor girl has had her life turned upside down and at the same time you're asking her to move into your apartment with your mother and daughter. You didn't actually think she would agree, did you?"

"I thought she might consider it, not just give me a no." Sighing, Rick started at the grainy image of the baby. "I just…there's nothing stopping her. She could pack up her life and leave tomorrow. She could take my baby and go without a word."

"And if she lives here you could stop her?"

"No, but…"

"Has she given you any reason to believe she is going to take the baby and ran? Surely if she was going to do that she would have gone by now."

"I know, but what happens when this all gets too much for her? You said it yourself, she's going to be doing the late night and early mornings."

"Then you make sure she knows that you are there for her, kiddo. You make sure she knows she can call you."

"I just can't lose them, mother. I can't."


	8. Chapter 8

**For some reason, I thought I had posted this, then realized I hadn't…oops. Here goes anyway! I'm not 100% happy with this chapter either, it just seemed to be forced but, hey ho!**

Slipping into his office, Rick closed the door before pulling his phone out of his pocket. Dialling the now all too familiar number, he waited for Kate to answer.

"Hello?" Kate yawned, rubbing her eyes as she pushed herself up off the couch.

"Did I wake you?" Rick asked immediately. He knew he should have text her first to make sure she wasn't sleeping.

"Mmm, no." Kate sighed. He could hear rustling in the background. "I was just dozing. Waiting for my food to arrive."

"Kate…"

"Don't blame me." Kate argued and he could feel her glaring at him through the phone. He could understand how she had made Detective so quick – one glare from her and every criminal in the city would be admitting to their crimes. "The baby wanted Chinese food. You wouldn't want me starving him now, would you?"

"No, we wouldn't want _her_ to go hungry. Although I am happy to hear the morning sickness seems to be staying away for today." Rick confirmed, laughing. "Listen, Kate. I won't keep you, but I just wanted to make sure you know I'm in this. If you crave cupcakes from some obscure bakery in New Jersey at three in the morning or you run out of diapers in the dead of winter and there a snow storm battering the city to pieces. I'm in this. You only have to call."

"Rick…"

"No, Kate. You don't have to say anything, I just wanted to make sure you knew. I know I was a bit forceful this morning about your job and where you are living, but I wanted to make sure you know it doesn't change anything." Sniffling, Kate wiped her eyes furiously as the tears started to fall. "Kate?"

"I'm here. Thank you Rick.

"Always. Just remember that you're not in this alone, okay?" Hearing her doorbell ring in the background, Rick smiled to himself. "Got get your food and feed the unborn. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Rick."

"Goodnight."

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

"Daddy? What are we doing?" Alexis questioned, her hand swinging backwards and forward as she glanced around the small elevator. "Are we going to jail?"

Smoothing his hand down her long red hair, Rick laughed. "No, Pumpkin, we're not going to jail. We're actually here to break someone out."

"What?" Alexis gasped a horrified look finding her features. "Daddy! That's naughty."

"Kate," Rick laughed again, uncontrollably. "We're here to break Kate out."

"Kate's coming to dinner? Daddy?"

"She is." Rick smiled. "We have something that we want to talk to you about."

"What daddy?" Alexis question as the elevator opened on the homicide floor of the Twelfth precinct.

"We'll talk over dinner. Look, there's Kate." Rick pointed the detective out to Alexis who immediately broke out in a sprint. Her affection for the woman was a strong as ever. It warmed his heart. Although Kate wasn't her mother, she could be a positive female influence in her life.

"Kate!"

"Al-Alexis?" Kate stuttered, turning on her heels just in time for the red head to barrel into her. She felt Rick hand on her elbow to steady her as she stumbled slightly. "What are you doing here?"

"We're going out to dinner!" Alexis exclaimed, her head resting gently against Kate's side as the woman subconsciously played with the girls' hair.

"I thought I was meeting you are the restaurant?" Kate questioned.

"You were, but I know what you're like Kate Beckett and I know what you're like when you've got a case. You'd probably forget to eat if we didn't come and get you."

"I hear ya." Esposito piped up from his desk, pushing out of his chair he strolled towards the group. Standing up straight, he looked Rick up and down before holding out his hand. "Detective Javier Esposito, and you are?"

"I'm Rick, Rick Castle and this is my daughter Alexis." Taking the detectives hand, he shook firmly. "We're friends on Kate."

"You're the writer?"

"Yes?" Rick answered as a question.

"Okaaaay," Kate drew out, grabbing her purse from desk. "Enough of that. Run the financials and call me if you find anything, if not, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, _Kate_." Esposito snarked, earning himself a look of death from Kate as she lead the father and daughter duo to the elevator.

"Sorry about him. He-"

"Cares about you?" Rick finished, his hand slipping to the small of Kate's back.

"I was going to say has my back but cares works too. He's like a brother to me." Kate clarified. "A big brother who doesn't know when to butt out so I wouldn't be surprised if he is running a background check on you right now.

"Well I'm glad you have someone looking out for you when I can't."

Smiling, Kate felt the tension leave her body. He wasn't pushing. He wasn't pushing her to quit her job and move in with him. He seemed to have dropped the idea of having her barefoot and pregnant. At least for now. "Where are we going?"

"I was thinking we could go for Italian. Unless you want something else?" Rick offered with a pointed look at her abdomen.

"Italian would be good." Slipping into the cab, she smiled as Alexis pulled out a book and started to read. Hopefully the baby would share the love of books that its sister clearly had. She could remember long winters night curled up in an armchair reading the classics with her mom. She wanted to share that with her baby.

"Are you sure?" Rick pushed, pulling Kate out of her daydream.

"Huh? Oh, I'm sure."

"How are you feeling?" It had been a few days since they had spoken. Between Kate's case and his book deadline, they had barely had time to send more than a few texts before dropping into bed each night.

"I'm feeling better, more like myself. I have more energy, but my pants don't fit anymore."

Laughing, Rick glanced at Alexis before speaking softly. "That's the second trimester for you. Maybe we could go shopping some time? Get some ideas of what to buy for the…you know what. We could look at furniture and strollers. I don't know if you know this, but for such little things babies come with a lot of stuff."

"That would be nice, as long as you promise not to try and pay for everything."

"Kate!" Rick whined, frowning like a child who had been told he couldn't have dessert. "You should just let me pay."

"Pay for what?" Alexis piped up, her book closed in her lap.

"Dinner," Kate answered smoothly. "Your daddy thinks he should pay for dinner."

"You should let him." Alexis grinned. "People give him lots of money to write stories!"

"See. She agrees with me."

"She's your kid, of course she's going to agree with you!" Kate exclaims, exasperated. She watched as the taxi stopped outside the restaurant and before he knew it, she paid the fare.

"How…Kate!"

"That's what you get for being slow, old man. Now come on, I'm starving."

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

"Hey Lex?" Rick questioned, nervously pushing his food around his plate. "Remember I told you there was something Kate and I needed to talk to you about?"

"Yes daddy." Alexis smiled, pushing her ice cream sundae away.

"Well it is really important so I need you to listen carefully okay?"

"Okay."

"Kate…Kate's…" Biting his lip, Rick took a deep breath. "Kate is having a baby."

"Really?" Alexis gasped, her eyes lighting up.

"Really," Kate smiled, reaching for the girls' hand across the table. "In about five months."

"That's ages!" Alexis exaggerated. "Does the baby have a daddy?"

"Actually Alexis," Rick started, running his hand through his hair. "I'm the baby's daddy."

"But you're my daddy." Alexis stated with childlike innocence. Her face falling into a frown. "Don't you want to be my daddy anymore?"

"Oh Pumpkin, of course I want to be your daddy. I can be your daddy and the baby's daddy."

"But Kate isn't my mommy, is she?"

"No, sweetheart I'm not." Kate answered softly.

"I don't understand." Alexis sniffed, tears pooling in her eyes. "Don't you like me?"

"Oh sweetheart." Kate started, pulling Alexis into her arms, only for the child to pull away.

"No! You don't want me! I hate you!" Pushing away from the table, Alexis stomped her sneaker clad foot. "I want to go home!"

"Kate?" Rick questioned, watching at the tears welled in her eyes.

"Go, take her home, Rick. It's fine."

"Kate…" Rick pushed, torn between the two. On one side he had his crying five year old and on the other he had his almost crying pregnant…Kate.

"Take her home Rick. It's fine."

Gathering up their stuff, Rick pressed a kiss into the side of Kate's head. "I'm sorry. I don't know what has got into her. She's never like this."

"It's fine." Shrugging on her jacket, Kate rested her hand on her almost small bump. "Rick I think it's best if we-"

"No, don't Kate." He interrupted, moving to grip her hand. He knew that look on her face. "Don't you dare finish that sentence. I'm going to take Alexis home then I'm going to call you and we will work this out okay?"

"Rick-"

"No, Kate. Just let me sort this out and we'll talk."

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

Walking into her apartment, Kate stripped off her jacket, gun and shoes before dropping heavily into the couch. This was exactly what she had feared from the moment she found out she was pregnant. If he had to choose between his daughter and the baby he had never met, it didn't take a genius to work out who he was going to choose. She should never have opened herself up to him. Grabbing her phone, she switched it to silent before dropping it on to the coffee table. She'd already had three texts from Rick in the twenty minutes it had taken her to get home from the restaurant. He'd apologized for Alexis' behavior. He'd promised that she would come around. That he just wasn't sure what had got in to his little girl.

But that was just it, wasn't it?

They were screwing with this little girls life. Changing everything she had ever known and all because of their moment of weakness. She couldn't be the person who ripped a parent away from a child. She couldn't cause her that pain.

Snatching her phone up once more, she took a deep breath and dialled Rick's number only releasing the breath she had been holding when she heard the voicemail kick in. "Hi, it's me. It's Kate. What happened tonight was what I was worried about. I've upset your little girl and I can't live with that. I'm not blaming you, and I'm definitely not blaming Alexis, but I can't be the cause of that look on her face. We tried Rick, but this is never going to work. I'll make sure the baby knows that you love them. Goodbye, Rick." Ending the call, Kate let the tears she had been holding in finally fall.

"Alexis, pumpkin. I need you to talk to me."

"No, I don't like you anymore!" Alexis ground out, her face pushed into her pillow.

"It's okay that you don't like me, but I still need you to talk to me." Rick pushed, kneeling next to her bed, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"You don't love me anymore." Alexis mumbled, turning her head to look at him with wide eyes.

"Of course I love you, Alexis." Shifting to the bed, Rick lifted Alexis onto his lap and pressed a kiss to her head, brushing the tears out of her eyes. "I will always love you."

"But, Dylan stopped seeing his daddy when he had a baby. He moved to Florida. Dylan said he doesn't love him anymore."

"I can love both of you. I know this is confusing but I promise you I will always love you." Smiling, he held her close. "Sometimes I forget you're just a little girl because you act like such a grown up, but this baby will never change how I feel about you. It may seem like we have less time together when it is first born but it won't stay like that."

"Really?"

"Really." Rick confirmed. "And I thought you always wanted a little brother or sister?"

"Yeah…" Alexis sighed, her little body relaxing. "You won't send me away?"

"Never."

"I'm sorry, daddy."

"You don't have to be sorry you're allowed to be angry and confused, but you do have to apologize to Kate. You said some mean words to her."

"I know." Alexis sobbed, fresh tears falling from her eyes. "What if she doesn't like me anymore?"

"She loves you, sweetheart. I'll call her later and organize when we can see her, okay?"

"Can we but her a present?" Alexis requested, fighting sleep as she yawned.

"I think that's a great idea."

"And the baby…"

"Of course, close your eyes now, it's way past your bedtime." Watching her sleep for a few moments, Rick carefully extracted himself from the bed, pulling the covers up and tucking her in before making his way downstairs to the kitchen.

He needed a large drink.

Sitting heavily on the couch, Rick groaned. How could he have got it so wrong? He should have expected Alexis' confusion. He should have anticipated the reaction and shielded Kate from it. Slipping his phone out of his pocket, he smiled when he saw a missed call and voicemail from Kate. Hitting play, he waited for her message to start. _"Hi, it's me. It's Kate. What happened tonight was what I was worried about. I've upset your little girl and I can't live with that. I'm not blaming you, and I'm definitely not blaming Alexis, but I can't be the cause of that look on her face. We tried Rick, but this is never going to work. I'll make sure the baby knows that you love them. Goodbye, Rick._ " Feeling his heart dropped, he dialled Kate's number. "No no," Hearing her voicemail kick in, he let out a frustrated groan. "Kate, damn it. Answer your phone. Alexis is fine. She wants to see you, please. Damn it Kate! Don't do this. Please, Kate. Just…just call me back. Please don't take my baby away."


	9. Chapter 9

Snatching his phone up from where it sat on his desk, Rick hastily pressed accept as it continued to ring loudly through the silent loft, his laptop nearly becoming a victim due to his speed. In the last three weeks since their disastrous meal Kate had ignored every text message and phone call. He would have gone to see her at the Twelfth if he had thought he would have got past the desk sergeant. "Kate."

"Yo," The person on the other end replied. He sounded breathless, strained.

"You're not Kate." Rick breathed out.

"It's Detective Esposito. This Castle?"

"Yes, it's Castle. Rick Castle." Rick clarified. "What's going on? Why are you calling me from Kate's phone?"

"Ka-Beckett…" Esposito started. "Look, don't over react okay? Just try and keep calm"

"Just tell me what's going on." Rick demanded. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears.

"Beckett…Beckett's been in an accident."

"Is she…is she dead?" Rick questioned leaning heavily back in his chair.

"What? No, man. She's okay. Little banged up. They are taking her to the hospital as a precaution. You know, because of the ba-"

"The baby." Rick interrupted. "Where are they taking her?"

"Lenox Hill. They loaded her up about five minutes ago."

"I'm on my way."

"Castle," Esposito called as he was about to hang up. "Just take a breath and chill? Don't go getting yourself arrested for speeding.

"Okay, fine." Rick relented, grabbing his keys he rushed out of the apartment, not even bothering to wait for the elevator.

 **. . . . . . . . . .**

"What happened?" Rick huffed out, coming to a stop in front of Esposito and another detective he had never met. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm his nerves. He was pretty sure he had done the journey from the loft to the hospital in record time. He'd nearly given the receptionist an earful too before she'd thought better and let him through. No doubt that would be on Page 6 tomorrow. "Was she shot? Stabbed?"

"Whoo, man. Chill. Take a breath. She wasn't shot or stabbed. She's a bit banged up, but she was giving the infamous Beckett death glare to the doctor when I was saw her." Esposito explained. "She wasn't even on duty. We were only called because a cop from the fifth recognized her. She was driving back from her dads when a drunk driver ran a red light. Hit the passenger side. Lucky, all things considered."

"Lucky?" Rick hissed, anger flaring through him. How could anyone say something so stupid. "Kate is lying in a hospital bed!"

"Lucky because I saw the side of the car that was hit. If it had been her side, we would be having a very different conversation right now."

"But she's okay?" Rick finally released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "You said she was banged up but okay?"

"She's gonna have one hell of a headache and she'll probably be pissed I went through her contacts to call you, but yeah, she's okay. They are going to do an ultrasound to check that the baby is okay."

"Okay," Rick sighed, running his hand down his face. "I need to see her."

Nodding toward the door, Esposito smiled. "Don't give up on her. She puts up a front but, ya know, she's just scared."

"I won't." Pushing open the door, Rick took in a stuttering breath when he saw her. She looked so...small sitting alone in the hospital bed, her hand gently resting on her bump. "Kate?"

"Rick?" Kate questioned, sucking in a breath and forcing back the tears he could hear in her voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Detective Esposito called, said you were on your way to the hospital."

"Why did you come here?"

"Why did I come here?" Rick repeated exasperated. "God Kate. For someone so smart you can be so dumb. I came here because I care about you. Because I'm having a baby with you."

"I told you it was best if we didn't do this."

"Yeah you did, but you know what Kate? I don't accept that. I don't accept that you just get to push me out of my child's life because things have got a bit difficult. That's not a choice that you get to make. You don't get to decide for both of us."

"But what about Alexis?" Kate questioned, her voice small as she blinked repeatedly trying to fight the headache behind her eyes.

"Alexis is fine. If you had read any of my texts or listened to my voicemails you would know that."

"But that night…"

"That night she was angry. Confused." Moving forward, Rick rested against the bed and warily took Kate's hand into his. "She was confused and she reacted in the only way she knew but, she's happy. Once I explained everything to her she was happy. She wanted to come and see you to apologize."

"I…I'm scared Rick." Kate stuttered. "My mom's gone; my dad might as well be gone too. When I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. I was terrified that you wouldn't want to be involved, but even more that you would.

"I don't understand…"

"If you want to be involved then you probably want more than I have to give."

"Kate," Rick sighed, bringing his hand up to his lips to kiss her bruises. "I don't want any more than you. If that is as a friend or…more then I am okay with that. Being Mom and Dad doesn't mean we have to be Mr and Mrs."

"What if I can never give you what you want?"

"You are." Rick promised, moving to rest his hand on her bump. "You are giving me another child and I can promise you that how I feel about you both is never going to change, so if you need to run, run. Have your own space but don't shut me out completely. It's killed me Kate. Not knowing how you are, not knowing how you are doing and not getting to see you then when I got this call today…for a few moments I thought it was all gone and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move."

"Rick…"

"Shhh." Rick soothed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'm not asking for promises on us, but please Kate. _Please._ Don't take that baby away from me."

"I won't," Kate breathed, dropping her hand to her bump. "But…Rick, what if something is wrong? The crash…I could see the car coming towards me but I couldn't do anything. I was at a red light. If I'd pulled out there would have still been a crash."

"The baby will be absolutely fine."

"You can't know that." Kate argued.

"I can. You're both strong and stubborn. The baby will be fine. Did they check the heartbeat yet?"

"At the scene. They said it seemed strong but they were worried about the placenta. They said something about placental abruption. It's all a bit of a blur."

"It'll be okay." Rick smiled, his hand finding her bump again. "The doctor will be here soon. Are you in any pain?"

"Just my head," Kate confirmed as the door to the room opened. "I'll probably ache tomorrow."

"I can almost guarantee that." The doctor confirmed, wheeling the ultrasound machine in behind her. "But that's nothing a few days of rest won't cure. In the meantime, how about we see how baby is doing?"

"Please."

"So you're nineteen weeks along?" The doctor questioned.

"Twenty weeks." Kate confirmed, gripping Ricks hand in hers.

"Okay, and you were involved in an car accident about ninety minutes ago. It's reassuring that you weren't sitting on the side of impact, but what our worry now is something call placental abruption. That's when your placenta separates from your uterus. Should this be the case, it can deprive the baby of oxygen and nutrients and cause bleeding."

"What are we talking about here, doc?" Castle question, his tone clipped. "Worst case scenario."

"Worst case scenario is that you have a full placental abruption and which will cause you to go into premature labor with the added concern of hemorrhaging. But we're not there yet. Try not to panic. We are talking worst case here. We may just have to monitor you a little more closely, but we'll cross that bridge if we get to it." Slipping her gloves on, the doctor smiled at the anxious parents. "Now if it's okay with you I'd like to give you another examination and then we'll do an ultrasound and take a look at baby."

"Okay," Kate forced a smiled, reclining back against the bed. She didn't want to be prodded and poked anymore. She just wanted to see her baby and get the hell out of the hospital. A long hot bath was calling her name.

"Everything looks good here. Let's take a look at baby." Prepping the machine, the doctor squeezed the gel onto Kate's abdomen before turning the screen away from Kate and Rick. Staring intently at the screen, the doctor bit her lip as she moved the transducer to a different angle before she smiled. "Okay, time to release the breath you are both holding. Everything looks absolutely fine."

"No abruption?" Rick asked, holding Kate's hand tight in his as the doctor swiveled the monitor around.

"No abruption. Baby is right on track. Measuring exactly where we would want at this point. If you'd like, I can even tell you if you will be welcoming a little girl or a little boy."

Glancing at Kate, Rick nodded as she smiled. "Kate is a certain it's a boy. I'm going for girl."

"Well," The doctor drew out. "They do say that mother knows best."

"You mean…" Kate stuttered, her eyes darting between the doctor and the screen.

"Congratulations mom, dad. You're having a son."

"A boy…" Rick breathed, pulling Kate into a crushing hug. "And he's healthy?"

"Completely." Handing Kate a couple of print out, the doctor signed her chart. "As far as I'm concerned you're okay to go home, but I want you on bed rest for at least a week. Just because we're out of the woods here doesn't mean we can't ere on the side of caution. I want you off your feet as much as possible. Let dad here pamper you"

"I-"

"That's fine, I can do that" Rick interrupted, before leaning down. "I have plenty of room at the loft."

"Rick…" Kate started, but stopped when she saw Ricks stormy eyes. They were screaming at her to even try and fight him on this. "Okay."

"Okay, I'll get you a prescription for some pain medication and you're discharge papers. I do advise you to get an appointment with your regular obstetrician just so they are aware of everything that is going on otherwise you're free to get dressed."

"Thanks." As the doctor left, Kate turned back to Rick and took a deep breath. "Rick…"

"Kate, I'm not asking you to move in, but you heard the doctor, bed rest. You won't rest if you go back to your apartment. Let me do this for you and the baby. I promise I won't try to convince you stay after the week."

"Okay," Kate sighed defeated but asking suddenly. "Are you disappointed?"

"Disappointed? Disappointed about what?"

"That the baby is a boy. I know how much you wanted a girl…"

"God Kate, no. Would a girl have been easy? Maybe, but that's only because I've done that before. But a boy…a son Kate. You're giving me a son. It's going to be extraordinary. Now let's get ready and I'll take you home. We can swing by your place and grab everything you might need for the next week."

"Rick…" Kate started, starting intently at him. "Thank you."

"Always."


End file.
